| and i'm so tired of playing this game.. |
[04 Mar 2005|03:09pm] |
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music |
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buried a lie - senses fail |
] |
Cause you know I change myself to impress whoever happens to be next to me
but I'm sick of trying so hard
waste all your time with me
I know I'm a mess right now
don't give up believe
I'd wait it out for you
what do you do when the only one you want
is the oneyoucanthave?
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| I've never felt this way before, open chest heart on the floor.. |
[19 Jan 2005|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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until i met you -mest |
] |
You taught me many things
Like how it feels to miss someone so bad
it feels like a part of you is missing
I can tell you one thing
Now that you have gone I never will forget you.
You left your mark.
I think that picture is adoreable! lol. So last night I slept over at Jen's. It was alot of fun watching american idol haha "WHATEVERRR". haha oh man. We had alot of fun. Staying up till 2:30 talking on a school night, no wonder I fell asleep in almost every class. I don't really have much to say, for the most part everything is going great! <3me.
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| And this feels so far from real i'm lost and i love it.. |
[18 Jan 2005|05:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 freezinggg |
] |
| [ |
music |
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pretty girl |
] |
| KELLYELIZABETHHOTALING |
| K |
is for |
Keen |
| E |
is for |
Exuberant |
| L |
is for |
Liberal |
| L |
is for |
Lively |
| Y |
is for |
Yummy |
| E |
is for |
Enthusiastic |
| L |
is for |
Loving |
| I |
is for |
Inspirational |
| Z |
is for |
Zany |
| A |
is for |
Altruistic |
| B |
is for |
Bouncy |
| E |
is for |
Exquisite |
| T |
is for |
Tolerant |
| H |
is for |
Happy |
| H |
is for |
Hot |
| O |
is for |
Odd |
| T |
is for |
Tame |
| A |
is for |
Athletic |
| L |
is for |
Loud |
| I |
is for |
Inspirational |
| N |
is for |
Nice |
| G |
is for |
Gorgeous |
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| the butterflies in my stomach, they could bring me to my knees.. |
[12 Jan 2005|06:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Straylight Run |
] |
why does tonight have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and I..<3
So I haven't been to school for 2 days now, which is good but bad at the same time. I'm going to have so much fucking work to make up. Plus I have to miss more school tomorrow to go to the doctors! greatt.. although it was alot of fun talking with Jen and just being lazy all day. I miss everyonee! Well tomrrow I start ballet up again! I'm so excited! I can't wait, I hope I won't be too sore ;)
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[09 Jan 2005|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy |
] |
So I just got back from Vermont, it was alot of fun except for the fact that my head still hurts from being around so many kids, but they're cute so you gotta love em. Morgan and Matthew are adoreable, and their constant little smiling faces could just make your day. And Ashley and Michelle's food fight was definetly a major highlight of the weekend. Too bad Jen didn't make it :( I miss her so much! If any of you have ever lost a true best friend, you would understand that. We know eachother better then we know ourselves, and mostly every memory since I was born has been with her. Shes the real definition of a true best friend. <3 ya!
Leave an anonymous comment with:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are?
7. How long we've been friends?
8. And a hint to who you are.
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[06 Jan 2005|04:17pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Okay - nivea |
] |
snow dayyy! heck yes. I basically just lounged around the whole day, which was nice. I'm so excited for starting up ballet again, although it will probably be hard. I can't believe I just stopped, after 10 whole years especially because it was something that I was really good at. I wish I never quit. But anyway, thank you Ryen for that entry, I love you so much!! I don't know why people act so immature (whoever wrote that comment), I may look like i'm 12, but at least i don't act like it.
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[06 Jan 2005|01:54pm] |
hey kelly,
i know i shouldnt be typing a entry in your live journal but i am so DEAL, haha. Kelly baby, i love you, you have been there for me since we met really at the end of november. IM soo thankful i have you. I count you as one of my best friends right now. I dont know if you have change or what since i have only known you for a little while but i have hungout with you almost every free time we get. So i think i have gotten to know you pretty well. People have been up in your business and im sorry guys if you dont like how she has been, but theres nothing wrong with it. Kelly is a good girl, she isnt a bitch and wouldnt do anything to try to hurt any of you. She just wants to be happy... just like every other teenage girla nd guy out there in this world. She has some stuff on her mind, just like me and you. She isnt depressed darlings, things just annoy pple easily but you dont have to go out there and blame other people for your problems so kids that are like being weird to kelly. there is no point, she wont do anything back because shes too nice. so if your looking for someone to fight with go find someone who cares. it just makes no sense. and kelly i love... you can delete this is you want to, cause it is sorta of yours. hahaha but ill talk to you later. babes!
<3 ryen
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| my weakness is that I care too much |
[29 Dec 2004|11:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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lovers and friends |
] |
fun nightt!! im happy! I love you Ryen, Lindsey, Liz, and Sean! and im not depressed.. some people REALLY need to grow up. I haven't changed, you just don't know me anymore.
Remember that blue crystal sky the sun reflected in your eyes, kissed me unexpectedly
a moment I just can't forget, we filled the air with promises and took them up so tenderly
but life never asks you what you want, it's just gonna have its way.. sometimes it doesn't give like it takes..<3*
 yeahh me in seans clothes trying to be like him
 and me ryens! ( i love her! )
 mmm yup i did that!
 aww! i love you ld
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| junky |
[27 Dec 2004|09:22pm] |
am i cute?
- am i crazy?
- am i lovable?
- am i funny?
- am i annoying?
- am i psycho?
- am i daring?
- am i a good person?
- would you hug me?
- would you miss me if i was gone?
- would you kiss me?
- would you make out with me?
- would you listen to my problems?
- would you be a good friend?
- would you be my best friend?
- would you ever go out with me?
- would you ever marry me if you could?
- would you ever snuggle with me?
- if you could give me a new name, it would be?
- if you could do one thing with me, it would be?
- if you could give me a piece of advice, it would be?
- if you could kidnap me for a day, where would we go?
- what do you love about me?
- what do you hate about me?
- if you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
- what is your honest opinion about me?
- what would you do if i sang out of tune?
- what song reminds you of me?
- do i remind you of any characters on tv?
- have you ever had a dream about me?
- do you think i'm a virgin?
- if you just met me, how old would you guess i am?
- am i huggable?
- if you could give me anything, what would it be?
- if you could promise me anything, what would it be?
personal..
- am i ugly, average, decent, good looking, beautiful, ect.;pick one?
- if you could describe me in one word, what would that word be?
- what did you think when we first met?
- if you had to describe to someone who i am and what i am like, what would you tell them?
- what are my faults?
- what are my strengths?
- do you wish we were closer?
- why aren't we closer?
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| This poison's my intoxication.. |
[26 Dec 2004|01:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 flirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The used - I caught fire |
] |
I looked away
then I look back at you
you try to say
the things that you can't undo
if I had my way
I'd never get over you
today's the day
I pray that we make it through
make it through the fall
make it through it all
and I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
and I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
cuz I'm in Love With you
you're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
when I come undone
you bring me back again
back under the stars
back into your arms.. <3
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[24 Dec 2004|01:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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some hf |
] |
I love..
-bubble baths
-shopping
-hugs and kisses
-my friends
-sleeping
-walking in the snow
-watching movies
-cuddling
-getting dressed up
-going out to eat
-boys
-singing in the shower
-Kip
-the movies
-cocoa
-chips with mustard
-christmas
-my bed
-getting haircuts
-summer
-dreaming
-eating
-cooking
-vacations
-amusement parks
-dr.pepper
-ballet
-baking cookies
-someone telling me they love me
[[what do you love?]]
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| the innocent can never last.. |
[22 Dec 2004|08:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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punk rock princess - something corporate |
] |
so tired.. physically and emotionally. I don't want people to worry about me because I'm not depressed, at least I don't think I am. I just have a pretty good way of hiding shit behind my smile. I have alot going on right now. These past few weeks have been hell. ughhhhh why mee? - that question is asked so much by so many people.. i wish someone could answer it for me because I honestly don't think I deserve any of this. But anyway.. I went to the mall after school to get my best friends presentts! They're so cute, I hope she likes them! because i stabbed myself with the freakin scissors as i was trying to curl the ribbon and i didn't even realize it until my finger started bleeding like crazyy :( ouchh .. I know its kinda weird/random but I really want a boyfriend! not just like any boyfriend but i want someoneee, real bad.. lol, after tomorrow no more school!! so excited.. but anyway I'm gonna go i'm too tired.. laterr<3
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[21 Dec 2004|07:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
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For all time |
] |
Today was pretty boring.. nothing really exciting happened except that I raised my Global grade to an 88 which is like amazing for me. I got a haircut, and I hate it. Even tho its only like a half an inch shorter.. it feels extremely short to me. Yeah so Christmas is in 4 days. I'm not all that excited.. and I have no idea why. I guess I'd just rather things get better, even if that's all I got this year. Anyways.. no hug today :( (but thats okay because i got 2 yesterday) hehe. But thats it, don't really have anything to say, peacee<3
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[20 Dec 2004|03:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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let me love you |
] |
Just when I think things couldn't get any worse.. they do. They always find a way to. I hate ittt. I just wanna run away from this stupid place. It's not good when you actually start to hate your life. Thank god for my friends, cuz without them I don't know what I would do. I don't tell them every little thing, because I have some major issues going on that nobody really knows besides me. But they always have a way of making me feel better and smiling, no matter how much it hurts.
my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
till then I walk alone.. </3
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[18 Dec 2004|08:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Buried myself alive {the used} |
] |
Last night was fun. I went to Lindsey and Sean's with Ryen, Liz, Meg, and Keith. We just chilled there for a while and watched a movie. Then I came home and just went online for a couple hours, watched tv, and went to bed. I woke up at like 10:30 this morning because I have family visiting from vermont and my cousin was talking in his sleep. I wish I didn't wake up tho, because its the only time I can escape from everything that goes on. I always doze off and just go into my own little world. I dream about the way I wish things were. My life is like a nightmare that I can never wake up from. But anyway.. today I went to the mall with my mom and aunt. We went to pizzeria uno for lunch. I got pizza, although I only ate like 2 pieces. I dont know why, but I just haven't really been eating lately. I guess I just have more important things on my mind.. So we went shopping for a while. That was kinda fun.. then we came home and went to my other aunts house. The only kids there were me and my cousin Robbie who is 12. My other two cousins stayed at home in Vermont with my brother... I wish that I lived far away from here. I just want to start over and just make new friends and meet new people. Not that I dont love the friends I have here. I just need to get away. Im going crazy. I hate feeling like this. I'm always worrying, I never feel good about who I am or what I look like, and I always worry if people like me or not.. which isn't good because I shouldn't care.. but i do.. I don't think anyone could ever feel the way I do, nobody deserves to. Theres always a problem, whether its family (always), friends, boys, or grades. I guess you just get used to it when your me.. Its something you just get used to, but that doesn't effect the way I feel. Nobody could ever understand unless they were me. I guess I'm just a screwed up kid.. but why me?.. there's so much behind my smile that you could never understand.. but whatever.. i just gotta suck it up and deal with it, cuz things are never gonna change.
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[17 Dec 2004|03:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Martini Kiss - Senses Fail |
] |
I don't even know why I bothered trying.. I should have known from the very start. I'll never be what he wants. And i'll most likely never be anything more then a friend to him. Things he has said have lead me to believe that someday something could possibly happen, but now I realize they won't. It's not like I want to just rush right into a relationship, because I'll admit I don't know him at all. Even though I feel like I have known him forever. People say that he isn't my "type" which makes me kinda mad.. Because I don't really have a type.. do I? I wouldn't know because everytime I start to like a guy, something has to go wrong. Why can everyone be happy except for me? Nothing ever seems to go right in my life. Or at least when they start to, it ends up getting fucked over anyways. I have something missing in my heart and I don't really know what it is.. i keep trying to find it but i can't.. I can't wait till the day I do, maybe i'll finally be happy. But until then, shit will just keep happening like it always does, one thing right after another. I know you must be thinking that I complain alot and I hate myself and my life.. but thats not it at all. Im just confused and I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so glad I became alot close with Ryen Liz and Lindsey <-- love you girls. blahh i'm gonna stop writing now because I could go on forever with how I feel right now.. peace<3
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[17 Dec 2004|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing yet homes! |
] |
like the new style hunnies?
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] |
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